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  Message: 2/14                      Posted        Author

  The Price of Failure               Mon Feb 21    Axis

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The sands of North Africa... Bleak. Unrelenting. Unforgiving. Yet there is the telltale image of greyed camoflague, dusty and sunparched, dull under the penetrating gaze of Sol as it bleaches bone and stone amidst this wasteland of Earth. The wind whips the crushed aggregate into a nearly opaque cloud, but as a voice from within hisses, baleful, crimson optics glaring a hole through the pale brown haze, you recognize the tone. Recognize the inflection. Recognize the owner...

  

I see some of us have forgotten the face of that which defines us. Few, I am honored to say, have not. Reichsmarshall Scourge, I am pleased to inform you I am once again functional, no thanks to the incompetence of Constructicon maintenance. My punishment for failing the Empire is yours to decide. I will accept it with righteous zeal." The wind once again gusts, howling over the audio feed and blocking the view with yet another thick, hazy cloud of sand.

 

"I have recovered Oberherr Galvatron as well. The damage is inconsequential, cosmetic at best. Yet I stand to question the effectiveness of his in-flight contingent when I come to his aid, kilometers from the conflict, and see a distinct LACK of dead Decepticons at his feet, fallen in the protection of mein fuhrer. Instead, there are some content to dance amongst the clouds, hide in the shadows of the flagship, cower beneath the armorplating of Decepticon might instead of TAKING the prize..." A hand rises, fist clenched. The shaking of the arm that's attached shows the force within, the building anger indicated in his tone. "...CRUSHING the resistance... SQUELCHING the rabble of incessant peasantry that supposedly holds sway in this annoyingly persistent conflict." The words spit from his audializer, each one dripping caustically, tinged with a growling tempest.

  

"I, PERSONALLY, will escort Oberherr Galvatron to the repair facilities. I will see to his welfare, as a dutiful soldier is honor bound to do. I will ENSURE that if harm should raise its sick, inferior head in the form of Autobot patrols, it WILL be swept clean of its shoulders, or I will lie dead on the feet of my Lord and Master with vengeance on my final breath. THAT is the way of the Empire... Not this... EXCUSE. I will report for standard rotation as soon as this task is complete."

  

"All hail the Empire. All hail Lord Galvatron. Axis OUT!"

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Message: 2/15                      Posted        Author

The Price...                       Tue Feb 22    Galvatron

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*Galvatron appears on the screen, very pissed off, and a bit banged up.*

 

        "First things first. Engineer Firestarter is to report to me at once. He is the engineer of the portside bulkheads of my ship which blew out, sucking me into the vaccuum. He and I will have a LONG discussion about what is...and what isn't safe, with handy cannon...err examples of what is not safe.

 

        "Next. As you may well know, on the way to CRUSH Rodimus Prime, the bulkhead blew, sucking me into the vaccuum. As you may know, I am capable of orbital flight within solar systems. Unfortunately, Earth's gravity is much stronger than my rockets. Were it not for Axis in upper orbit catching me, the Empire may well have ended here and now. I am most curious why no one else noticed A GIANT FALLING RULER. But that is of no consequence. Axis, you are hereby promoted to rank 4...Decepticon Elite. Take your place. Bandit, you are hereby awarded the Warrior of Favorment award for your bravery in attacking the autobots from without the ship and promoted to rank 3. Search parties are IMMEDIATELY to recover Bandits remains from orbit, I have been informed of his fate. Scrouge, this is to be the sweeps priority. Scourge and Cyclonus are excused from my anger, they were busy rallying the troops. BUT THE REST OF YOU? YOU DARE TO IGNORE MY ABSENCE? YOU DARE LET THEM DESTROY MY SHIP?!! NNNNNNNNNNNNYA! THIS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

 

        "The next screwup? They get to have their face adorn my mantle...which I will rip off myself! Soundwave, I want operation Carboyma to initiate IMMEDIATELY! NYA!

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Message: 2/16                      Posted        Author

MSE Duty Rosters                   Tue Feb 22    Scrapper

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Scrapper's sitting at his desk in the medbay, a datapad showing off MSE duty rosters out beside him, in view of the camera. Without preamble, the Constructicon starts, "Given his concerns with Constructicon workmanship, I'll have the duty rosters shifted around, so that..." Scrapper pauses. What kind of crazy ranks is MilOps using these day? "Herr Axis doesn't have to deal with my brothers and me. Instead, only highly trained technicians, such as Aerosol and Kitbash, will attend to him. Scrapper out."

 

*Spinny!*

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Message: 2/17                      Posted        Author

Addendum                           Tue Feb 22    Galvatron

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Text only

 

"Scrapper. If you give Axis substandard care...I will have your face."

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NCC Central Command

 

     Located inside a huge dome, the Command Center has an atmosphere of readiness about it, like a predator poised to strike. Cunningly hidden lights flood the lower levels and central command deck with a red glow, indicating the center is set to battle mode. Three huge wall-mounted screens display exterior views of the city, now bristling with a fearsome array of weaponry. The already impressive interior walls and hexagonal basalt columns are now reinforced with additional support beams and the exits now sport solid blast doors, a final defensive layer should the complex be breached. The sophisticated computer terminals that line the room's perimeter flicker with combat data, sensors straining to find and analyze any potential threats, weapons systems charged and ready to fire.

 

Contents:

Hook

Extended Radio <NCC>

Decepticon Object <DO>

Obvious exits:

 North <N> leads to NCC Medical Ward.

 South <S> leads to NCC Spaceport.

 East <E> leads to NCC Central Hub.

 West <W> leads to Cyclonus' Office.

 

Hook is tapping furiously at a console, like he has a grudge against the device. He also seems to be muttering to himself as he does so. Of course, talking to yourself is perfectly normal behaviour if you consider yourself to be the most intelligent mech on the planet, since everyone else, by definition, would be boring. But most people don't use the kind of language that Hook's employing.

 

Long Haul does, however, being as he's known for grumbling to himself on a very regular basis. Of course, unlike Hook, it's pretty easy to figure out what has Long Haul annoyed at any given time. Hook actually has a collection of annoyances, although a lot of them still add up to the same thing.

 

The supply transporter is carrying a large crate full of assorted various pieces parts whose actual functions are generally beyond him. He walks up next to his brother and sets the crate down sharply, not jolting it heavily enough to actually damage anything, just enough to rattle the contents nicely.

 

"Do you MIND?" Hook snaps, turning from his work to glare at Long Haul. "I'm TRYING to write out this...wait a moment.. YOU weren't responsible for this.. this SLUR, were you?" Hook crosses his arms, tapping lime green fingers on his metal forearm as he continues to glare, obviously expecting Long Haul to instantly know what the Pit he's ranting about. "Well?"

 

Long Haul turns his featureless face in Hook's direction for a long moment before he says anything, and there's something of a hint of confusion at first until he remembers what slur Hook's talking about. "Me? Naw! I haven't even been on this planet for the past while!" He shrugs. "Bonecrusher, maybe, but if he's been goin' to Bonecrusher for maintenance he deserves to crash, y'ask me."

 

If Hook were covered in fur, his hackles would slowly be settling. But he's not, so he has to content himself with uncrossing his arms. "Hmph. Well I checked the logs.. and I don't see ANY record of this "Axis" being repaired or undergoing maintenance performed by ANY of us. I suppose it /may/ have been Bonecrusher - he's not known for his dedication to paperwork." Hook sniffs, as if this were a major design flaw in his brother, and not what many would consider one of his better features. "But really.. I think he's making the whole thing up to save face. I'm in the middle of writing a VERY curt speech about it. I'm on my fourth revision. Would you like to hear it?"

 

Scrapper arrives from the NCC Central Hub to the east.

Scrapper has arrived.

 

Long Haul actually dithers for a moment. Listen to Hook's speech... haul scrap. Listen to Hook's speech.... haul scrap. It really is difficult to decide which would be the greater torture, but on the other hand, he wasn't too happy about Axis' attack either. The brothers may bicker with each other like mad, but no /outsider/ had the right to criticize their handiwork like that. "Sure, go ahead," he mutters.

 

Scrapper doesn't look too terribly pleased. Given recent events, it's not to hard to figure out why. His own work, Scrapper may consider unworthy of praise, but the Constructicons as a whole? Yeah, they're lunk heads, but Scrapper won't stand for other people calling them lunk heads.

 

"Huh, I figured as... wait, what?" Hook's optics flicker in a blink, as Long Haul's reply is properly processed by his audials. "You.. you do?" he asks incredulously. "I mean.. well yes, of course you do. Ahem." Striking what he thinks is a noble and far-seeing pose, Hook looks down at his datapad and clears his vocaliser again. "Four breem and several cycles ago..." he begins

Damn! Long Haul should have gone with option (B), back to hauling! He stifles a slight groan and shakes his head. "Hook, how y'gonna yell at him if you BORE him to death before y'get that far?" The supply officer raises his hand and covers his non-face. That's the problem with all these leaking /geniuses/. Not a lick of common sense in any of 'em.

 

Scrapper notes his brothers with a nod. AH, think of the lunk heads, and there they are! He tilts his head quizzically and inquire, "Who is Hook yelling at?"

 

"Well we CAN'T just haul off and smack him!" Hook retorts, despite wanting to do just that. Preferably with a Devastator sized fist. "You just don't appreciate fine... Oh! Scrapper! I'm /yelling/ at that idiot Praxis or Straxis or whatever his name is."

 

Long Haul corrects, "Axis." Not that he really cares that much, but it's not like he gets to correct Hook very often. Finally he shrugs. "Well, I guess it does make some kinda sense... I mean, he uses way too many words, so maybe when yer using way too many words yer speakin' the same language." He pauses and stops to think. It's a good sized pause. "Except he keeps speakin' in that other language instead, anyway."

 

Scrapper scowls and crosses his arms. Who does Axis think he is, Galvatron's pet? Oh, yeah.

 

Scrapper then remembers that yes, if Axis is Galvatron's pet, it might be a bad idea for Hook to make a speech. If Axis gets pissed off, Scrapper’s face could be on the line, here! Not that Scrapper has much of a face, anyway. So he erms quietly and says, "Just what are you thinking, Hook?"

 

"What IS an Ober hair anyway?" he asks. "Is it like a normal hair? And planning, Scrapper? Why, I was simply planning to reply to Axis's slur on our reputation by pointing out a few facts - namely that, unless Bonecrusher forgot to enter it into the logs, none of us have repaired or performed maintenance on Axis recently. He's /deliberately/ soiling our good name!"

HOOK asks.

 

Scrapper sighs. Ah. That's okay. Facts are usually okay. Unless people start ignoring the facts. Then stuff gets nasty, and people lose faces. "Sounds decent enough, Hook."

 

Long Haul shrugs. "Dunno," he says in response to Hook's 'ober hair' question. "Never made an effort to learn anymore than one human language. Figgered that was enough. And as for learnin' about hair..." he shakes his head. He doesn't even have a face! What does he need to know about hair, ober or otherwise?

 

Yes, once again Hook is proved right. Of course, he's /always/ right, but it's nice to have his brothers agreeing with him for a change. "After I finish my revisions, I shall make a transmission to the message server. And of course, I'm never going to repair that stupid Seeker again, unless he makes a FULL apology, or unless Galvatron is standing over me with a cannon. Huh. Incompetant. Who does he think he is?"

 

Scrapper points out dryly, "Hook, how can you repair him again? You never repaired him the first place."

Scrapper hears his chronometer reminding him that he needs to be elsewhere. Bah. He nods to his brothers and stalks out.

 

Scrapper has disconnected.

 

Long Haul doesn't have to worry about repairing him to begin with. What do you know? There /is/ an advantage to being the 'dumb' Constructicon! 'Dumb', of course, meaning 'not a leaking genius' in this case, since really, Long Haul only just misses dead average. The not-genius robot rubs his chin thoughtfully (looking at old screenshots, his chin seems to come and go depending on which animator's drawing him, but his player prefers the chin version). Yes, he can be thoughtful! He's just slower about it than his brothers! "Never met the guy, but I think the second one's more likely, Hook." I mean, really... it sounded like a case of trying to get an apology from Hook himself.

 

Hook splutters. "You know perfectly well what I... bah!" he says, as Scrapper runs off, no doubt not wanting to face whatever scathing retort was on the tip of Hook's robotic tongue. "Well of course" the prissy Constructicon says, turning back to Long Haul. "But one can but hope."

 

Long Haul looks askance at Hook, which is quite an accomplishment given his countenance. "Hope for the cannon?" Finally it hits. Ding! "Oh! Nevermind. S'y'gonna read that speech or what? I needa be getting back to work." Not that Long Haul particularly /wants/ to go back to work, of course, it's just that he's no longer certain that it isn't preferable to listening to Hook blather on. I mean, really, this like some sort of horrible choose your own torture adventure or something.

 

Hook waves his hand. "It's not done yet anyway" he sighs. "But it is good to see you taking an interest for once. I'll be sure to track you down and read it to you once I'm done." Oh and won't that be FUN? "No, you can go back to... whatever it was that you were doing. Moving things, I expect."

 

Yeah, like THAT was a hard one to guess. Long Haul mutters, "Yeahyeahyeah. Whatever." He leaves the box of parts in place as he plods off. Hard to say whether he forgot it, or if he actually intended this as the box's destination. "See ya 'round." Other Decepticons might wonder about the non-confrontational tone of the entire encounter between the three brothers. Nothing quite like an attack from an outside source to actually get the Constructicons to agree for once!

 

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Message: 2/18                      Posted        Author

Repair roster                      Wed Feb 23    Fulcrum

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Fulcrum appears onscreen, frowning.

 

"With Scrapper's permission, I shall volunteer to undertake repairs on Axis. Though I must add that his analysis of Constructicon technical skill is incorrect."

 

He pauses, as if going to say more, then simply shrugs.

"Fulcrum out."

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Message: 2/16                      Posted        Author

Shoddy maintenance?                Fri Feb 25    Hook

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Hook appears onscreen, sitting in a comfortable looking chair, sipping at a glass of energon as he purveys a datapad. "Oh!" he says, glancing up at the camera as if noticing it for the first time. "Hello friends. I'm here to talk to you about a very serious security problem, one that could have far reaching reprecussions for the Empire. You see, after Axis claimed that his failure was due to "Shoddy Constructicon Maintenance", I did a little research - checked the repair logs and so forth - and discovered a remarkable thing.

 

No Constructicon has repaired, or performed maintenance on Axis since... well, EVER. Now, obviously such a /respected/ Decepticon such as uh.. Hair Axis, wouldn't just make up slanderous lies about the best engineers in the Empire. So thus I am forced to choose between two theorys.

 

One: There is an impostor running around, DISGUISED as myself or one of my brothers. I therefore request that DCI start looking for this dangerous individual IMMEDIATELY.

 

Two: Axis is being brainwashed, or has had his core tampered with, no doubt by Autobots, or Quintessons, or somesuch. Thus I must insist Axis report to medbay, to have his head examined."

 

Hook sips at his energon again, before smiling winningly at the camera. "Hook Out."

 

*blip to spinny*

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<Decepticon> Soundwave's voice drones once more. "I was unaware that MSE operatives were authorised to request immediate action from DCI."

 

<Decepticon> Hook says, "If you don't think it's serious that there could be an imposter amongst us.. well, I'm sure you know best."

 

<Decepticon> Soundwave says, "Your deferrence is acknowledged." And.. surprising! "Submit the repair logs to me. I will conduct whatever investigation is necessary."

 

<Decepticon> Hook's sarcasm is wasted on the Tape Commander. "Of course, Soundwave" he replies. "Though, just to be certain, perhaps we should institute a cunning system of passwords and secret handshakes."

 

================================= Decepticon =================================

Message: 2/16                      Posted        Author

Idiots                             Fri Feb 25    Galvatron

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*Galvatron appears*

 

        "You're an idiot, Hook. Seriously. Learn to read context. DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING? NYA! Herr Axis meant that since Scrapper co-heads the DIVISION with Arachnae, any and all mistakes fall on his shoulders! In fact, last I checked, he outranked Arachnae! It's not like someone is going to get SHOT for a rushed repair job on a, at the time, STANDARD trooper. THEY HAPPEN! NOW SHUTUP AND LEAVE MY SECURITY FORCES TO OPERATION CARBOYMA! NYA! *the camera disappears as it is blasted into oblivion by Galvatron's cannon*

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Message: 2/17                      Posted        Author

Re: Idiots                         Fri Feb 25    Hook

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Hook appears on screen, standing at a medtable.

 

"Ahhh, I see.." he says. "So it's all /Scrapper's/ fault for being a poor organizer and substandard commander, and not a slur on our flawless technical skill? Well that's fine then. I agree completely. But really, he could have just /said/ that, instead of suggesting the Constructicons are in any way inferior technicians. I mean, really.." He goes to turn the camera off, then pauses. "Oh - and as an MSE note, would Bonesrusher and Hok take more camera units out of storage? We've run out."

 

Blip to spinny.

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Message: 2/18                      Posted        Author

RE:Joy, joy, joy                   Sat Feb 26    Axis

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Spinny spins. You guys know the drill. Yeehaw.

 

"I believe I have discovered the problem. Upon thorough inspection, there was excessive carbon build up on the main flow pivot of my right thrust vectoring nozzle. A problem easily solved by the periodic maintenance schedule established by the fine gentlemen in our medical division. How it slipped through the watchful eyes of these highly trained, amazingly skilled individuals, I will never know. But obviously, the problem lies there with the numerous assistants performing the PM schedule. I am investigating this as we speak to find the specific maintenance drone responsible."

 

The camera continues to record, capturing from the shoulders up a bland faced, non-expressive seeker. Unemotional would be a good description, Shockwave-ish would work even better. "Where the discrepancy may lie in the repair records is in the roster assignments. As of 1400439.6, I was erroneously taken from the active duty rosters and listed as MIA, followed by KIA status after the usual 60 cycle search window. While bureaucracy isn't my strongpoint, Decepticon brethren, I assure you I am in the process of alleviating this error so that we may ALL be uniform on our records base. Once this is done, I feel we can resume our efforts to raise the Empire to the level and status it deserves. If there are any questions, I look forward to answering them to the best of my ability."

 

"For the Empire." BLIP!

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<OOC Editor’s Note: OOOO! So it was all a paperwork error! Hahaha!>