Let us travel past the danger signs, slip by the slippery-slope warning, and dodge beneath the yellow diamond with the pictures of falling rocks, deep into the dark, sinister quagmire that is Sailor Loon's headspace. People who visit this dank, disorganized realm can easily find themselves lost for all eternity, but we have a guide and we have a goal. After time indeterminate, during which we are constantly harassed by bad puns, one-liners that Loon no doubt believes to be witty, and scene squirrels (a smaller relative of the plot-bunny who carries scenes, conversation snippets, utterly pointless headcharacters, and mental pictures, but no suggestions at all on how to fit them together into a coherent whole) we finally approach what we are looking for.

It's a bit brighter here, because this is where Loon's attention is currently focused. The first thing we can make out as we close the distance is a tall, pale-yellow and white figure. It doesn't take long for even a casual Transfan to identify this figure as a Seeker, and any followers of the products of Loon's scene squirrels will recognize him as Fleetwind. He appears to be leaning on a cement wall that comes up to his chest, his elbows resting on the top of the wall. As we get closer we can see a figure sitting on the wall near him, what appears to be a chubby mermaid with long, brown hair, currently held up in a pony-tail. It is the Loon herself! It appears that she is engaged in a conversation with her flyboy headcharacter, and as we draw within hearing range we can finally make out just what is being said.

"Are you serious?" Fleetwind asks, a little incredulous. "Someone's mentioned creating a Sue for me?"

"Well," answers the Loon, "actually, it was mostly just chit chat. I don't think the person was serious."

Fleetwind shrugs. "Ah. Okay. Well, that's a shame."

The webmaid glances at Fleetwind out of the corner of her eye. "What? You mean you want a Mary Sue? Don't mind being a SNAD or something?"

"Oh, that. I already am one."

Loony places her hands on her hips and looks up at her character, insulted by the suggestion that she has created a SNAD, even if it is her own creation suggesting it. "Oh, really? So, what, you insult Haze and Gash's intelligence or shoot them in the foot just as a way of expressing your love? And the previous trine-mate's you've killed off for fear that they might get you killed, that was done in as kind a manner as possible, right?"

Fleetwind nods. "Exactly!" he replies. "Except for when they were being monumentally stupid; then I was sensitive to the fact that they really deserved it."

Loon shakes her head in vague amusement. "You're not fooling me," she admonishes, "but anyway, just why do you want a Mary Sue."

"You're asking me why I want a super-powerful, devoted girl friend on my side who always wins in the end? Come on, you should know the answer to that! I mean, let's face it, even when a Sue's beloved dies, he always comes back to life before the end so that the two can live happily ever after. It's the ultimate safety net!"

The finned-female rolls her eyes. "You're right, I should have known the answer to that." She shakes her head and chuckles.

For a moment the two lapse into silence before Flee gives the Loon a suspicious look. "Okay, what's the catch?"

The smaller figure looks up at the jet with an innocent expression on her face. "Catch? What makes you think there's a catch?"

Fleetwind glowers. "You're smiling. First rule of the head-character survival guide: never trust your creator, especially when she's smiling. So what's the catch?"

Loon's small smile turns into a full-blown grin. "The person I was chatting with was Luna, and her so-called "Sue" would have been a member of a rogue modeling agency who kidnaps you and forces you into a life of decorative servitude."

The yellow mech places his hand in his palm and groans. "Why me?" he can be heard mumbling.

If possible, the webmaid's grin gets even wider. "Well, it certainly would bring new meaning to the phrase, 'Slave to fashion,' wouldn't it?"

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